Recently I cancelled my Bupa health insurance policy and signed with Qantas Assure. I earned 30,000 points for a mid-range policy with an Extras package, and I’m happy with the value.

The truly awesome part however is the Qantas Assure App. Since I downloaded it I’ve been ‘Walkin’ with Christopher Walken’, and I’m obsessively addicted.

The App has different challenges which allow earn of up to 15,000 points per annum, but a new partnership with Blackmores boosts earn potential by 10,500 points.

I’m aiming to earn 22,000 in one year which will provide me a free return SYD-MEL flight including taxes.To earn my flights I need to earn 422 points per week, and to hit my steps targets, I’m getting really focused.

I’ve measured I can achieve 2,500 steps in just 15 mins of walking, so from time to time I pop out of the house or office and take a quick walk. It gets my steps up plus clears my head.

The other day my kids found a feather in the backyard and proceeded to chase me around the kitchen table with it trying to tickle me. By the time they were sick of the game, I’d earn 2,000 steps and they were ready for bed.

Instead of lying on the couch at night watching Netflix on my iPad, I’ve started walking around the room. I can rack up 7,000 steps in one episode of Suits, and because I have my headphones on I can’t hear my wife yelling at me that I’m annoying her.

I asked my wife if I could buy a treadmill to put in front of the t.v. She said no.

I tried walking while I’m sitting at the table eating dinner, or lying in bed, but Qantas Assure App is too smart. It doesn’t count fake steps.

A friend of a friend is allowed to take her dog to work, where it spends all day trotting around the office. She tied her phone to its back to increase her step count, but the phone rang on vibrate and the dog freaked out and hid under the couch the rest of the day. She missed several client calls and nearly got fired. You can’t cheat Qantas Assure App. Don’t try.

Escalators and elevators are the enemy. I take the stairs and harvest the steps.

The kids wanted to head down to the park to kick the footy last weekend. My phone was on charge and I made them wait 20 mins because I didn’t want to miss out on my steps.

When I take my free trip to Melbourne I’m going to eat lots of food heavy in saturated fat because I’ll be so fit and look so good it won’t even matter.

My mum was in town over the weekend. She’s 74 and runs marathons. She suggested she take my phone jogging with her while I lay in bed having a rest. I turned down her offer. It’s just a coincidence that the same day I earned my 30,000 steps badge.

Sydney to Melbourne is 1032 kms. I’m currently averaging 9km per day. I could walk to Melbourne and back in 230 days. Using the Qantas Assure App will take me 365 days to earn my free flight, but at least I can stay at home during that period. Life on the road can be hard.

Last week I walked to the shops to buy milk and realised I’d left my phone at home. I walked home, collected my phone, then walked back to the shops to buy the milk because I didn’t want to miss out on my steps.

In the last 3 weeks I’ve burnt off five kilos of fat. I can’t wait to burn my Qantas Points on that flight to Melbourne.

My wife thinks I should start a business where I take other Qantas Assure App users phones walking to help them hit their steps targets. This is the age we live in.

Every step I take is earning me Qantas points and now I sleep-eat-breathe points. I obsess constantly about how else I can earn points. I’m engaged.

I’m falling behind on my Weekly Challenge target this week, and Qantas Assure App suggested I ‘reduce my steps target’. I don’t find that very encouraging. It should tell me to ‘get my fat bum off the couch and out walking because that flight to Melbourne (inc. taxes) isn’t going to earn itself’.

I asked at the workplace where I’m consulting if I can have a human-sized hamster wheel at my desk so I can build up my steps while I work, but HR gave me a funny look, said no, then wrote something in my file.

My wife suggest we go for a walk as a way to ‘spend time together’. She’s a slow walker so on the spot I developed a double-step walking technique to build up my count. She indicated I was embarrassing her, but that’s pride messing with her head. Steps don’t know no pride.

Philip Shelper is a specialist loyalty consultant based in Sydney, Australia who obsesses about everything to do with loyalty and rewards. His company Loyalty & Reward Co are a leading loyalty consulting firm.

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